Witness 007

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Posts by Witness 007

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  21

  Me and my Wife like to Swing if anyone wants to join us.....

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ...........at the kid's playground swings.

  i hate the monkey bars since my feet drag on the ground!.

  april fools!!!!!!!!!

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  Witness 007

  Alot of evil people here!!!!!!
• 
  21

  As a Witness were you allowed to eat Easter eggs AFTER Easter and only if smashed up first??

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my favourite was a humpty dumpty full of mm's....but we could only buy them after easter and if we broke them up....my mothers orders.....tonnes of half price eggs after easter..

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  Witness 007

  My favourite was a Humpty dumpty full of MM's....but we could only buy them AFTER easter and if we broke them up....my mothers orders.....tonnes of half price eggs after Easter.
• 
  24

  Watchtower 1974- Obviously a Bethelite writes all fat people who eat more than others will be destroyed!!!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  bethel lunchtime....their is always a young brother who eats more potatoes or chicken etc.

  leaving the plate empty and others from his table scrounging from other "less hungry" tables.

  so some writer with a chip on his shoulder writes this article.. watchtower 1974 p.167 "glutton...fails to show love for jehovah.

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  Witness 007

  The Watchtower society cannot possibly Police fatties since most of the Elders are large.
• 
  56

  Lazarus Returns From the Dead

  by cameo-d in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what did lazarus "die" from, anyway?

  how can we be sure he was not in a coma?

  how can we be sure this was not a staged event?

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  Witness 007

  Sorry page one.
• 
  8

  When is the correct time to start eating easter eggs?

  by Broken Promises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when is the correct time to start eating easter eggs?.

  if its thursday evening, can we start now?.

  i have a feeling that sunday is the correct day, but what if youre hungry and a lover of chocolate?

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  Witness 007

  I can only say one thing. It's NEVER the correct time to eat LAST YEARS Easter eggs people....listen to my wisdom.
• 
  5

  The Good News

  by BabylonSmurf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys, you all be glad to know that since i walked out of that meeting i started studying and got baptised last week at an assembly.

  also i'm conducting bible studies with three of the teletubbies, winnie the pooh and peter pan.

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  Witness 007

  Teletubbies are the new Smurfs.........DEMONS!
• 
  56

  Lazarus Returns From the Dead

  by cameo-d in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what did lazarus "die" from, anyway?

  how can we be sure he was not in a coma?

  how can we be sure this was not a staged event?

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  Witness 007

  What did you think of my ideas on page 2 Cameo? I have another idea. There were no doctors at the time so Lazarus after drinking some wine falls asleep on the side of the road. Thinking he was "hit and run" by a Roman Chariot the Jews "wrap and stack" him in a tomb. Someone forgot a Tuna Subway sandwich in the tomb...therefore the smell.......as far as I'm concerned, case closed my dear Watson!

  {Witness 007 walks away puffing on his Pipe}
• 
  37

  Why the Memorial partaker numbers have gone up...

  by undercover in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  ...well, as was explained to me anyway.. since countries that were previously under ban are now able to report, this has resulted in the partaker numbers to go up.. .

  .

  um, yeah... .

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  Witness 007

  The answer I got was that the Governing Body forgot to "carry the 1" and made a calculation error.....well they didn't go to College did they!
• 
  56

  Lazarus Returns From the Dead

  by cameo-d in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what did lazarus "die" from, anyway?

  how can we be sure he was not in a coma?

  how can we be sure this was not a staged event?

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  Witness 007

  One account said when he rose from the grave Lazarus began yelling: "BRAINS......EAT MORE BRAIAAANS!" And tried to eat Peter's head, so Jesus had to shoot him in the head with a shot gun.

  Another account says his last meal was a "Puffer fish" which can cause fake death like symptoms....he awoke and yelled: "Happened again, God damn Japanese food!"

  I think that answers tht question Cameo.
• 
  15

  Oh Those terrible horrible, no good, very bad wordly people !!

  by man in black in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  saw this in the chicago tribune today, thought some of you might enjoy it.. put a lot of those jw "worldy people".

  http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/ct-news-hageman-fire-20100327,0,5478590.story.

  chicagotribune.comaurora house fire restores faith in peopleit took a house fire to make reporter william hageman see the good in peopleby william hageman, tribune reporter.

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  Witness 007

  Witnesses hate worldly people until they need one!.....then it's like Witness -"OH thank you so much worldly person for your help. It's a shame Jehovah will destroy you and your kids at Armagedon.....would you like a Tract?"

  Worldly person - "What the F###!"